WORLD CUP 2014 DICTIONARY

DICTIONARY UPDATES FROM
WORLD CUP
•Song=beaten
•Cameroon=fight
•Ayew=naked
•Enyeama = save
•England = unlucky
•Suarez = bite
•Spain = disgrace
•Costa rica = surprise
•Netherland = hot
•Cote d'ivoire = Ouch
Some examples of how to use the
new words are;
>The night runner ran Ayew
>The thief was songed by the police
>I saw a dog Suarez a little boy
today
>My girlfriend is too Netherland
for you
>My dad gave me a Costa Rica gift
yesterday
>Father Lord, pls Enyeama those
234 girls from Boko Haram
>Cote d'ivoire!!... I hit my leg
against a stone

Handsome Mugshot

Linda Okello a Kenyan traffic police woman made all the men go crazy now its the turn of american  women .This time its not a police but  a policeman's bestfriend,a criminal.
The Stockton Police department posted a mug shot of a 30 year old  suspected male   criminal on their face book page which had  got 68,687 likes,over 100,000 comments plus over 600 shares in less than 48hours .
After his arrest the ladies have even started a page to raise his $900,000 bale.Just look at his mug shot n some edited ,this guy should be a model!!    

CAMEL PREDICTS WORLD CUP GAMES CORRECTLY

In 2010 it was Paul the Octopus who predicted all Germany world cup games plus the final correctly.In 2014 we have Shaheen the Camel.So far Shaheen has predicted all games correctly.He has predicted a Portugal win over Germany which as a Germany fan I hope 'he' is wrong.
In Kenya we also had a donkey in 2010.It predicted the first world cup games correctly before getting after a beating after getting a game wrong.
In 2010  Paul the Octopus became kind of unpopular after predicting a German loss.SomeGerman fans demanded that he should be fed to the sharks for predicting their semifinal loss.
Lets wait and see if Shaheen is Paul the Octopus or the Kenyan  Donkey.
PSSSSS;UPDATED AFTER THE GERMAN GAME It seems our camel was just the Kenyan donkey.I have noticed it chose flags with green in them,maybe it thought it was choosing grass!

PANTY LESS WOMEN

A few weeks back a pastor in Dandora asked his congregation to come to church pantyless and braless so that the 'spirit' can roam in freely!Well it now seems this is common for our ladies.
First it was one of the Ogopa djs female artist  who was caught on with no pants.Then it was one of our socialite who claimed that she does not wear pants.Now more women are coming out to claim that they go 'commando' except in those days.
Most claims that pants make them uncomfortable.Other say that they just hate the panty line.There are those who just need some 'breathing space'.Finally there are claims that this is the new trend for the modern woman.
Well private parts are not public property and maybe these women should be sued for negligence!

BUDGET WEEK 2014:ya massufferer

So its budget week in Kenya,KSH17,000,000,000,000 budget according to true rumours.If you do not laugh at you problems someone else will.Here is what Kenyans think
0:Serakal tunaomba ile mbegu ya ovacado irreplaciwe na mayai.
1:malipo is no longer hapa
duniani.hatuwes afford
2. Taxation on weaves and other
fake hair should go up to curb
the killing of poor horses.
3. ile light inakuanga at the end
of the tunnel izimwe ku save
energy.
4. The government will introduce
a flat-rate Bribe valid for one
year; replacing costly periodic bribes
5. Wasee wa vitz wanadai gava
introduce petrol ya sachets.
6. naomba gava traffic lights
zichange from green to red, hiyo
orange inaweza mangwa.
7. Logo ya Apple iumwe tena bei
ipungue!
8. Hospitali zipunguzwe bei
Wakorino wapone vichwa
haraka.
9. Madame waitikie kuingia
bahasha ju Box zimepanda bei.
10. Government recommends a
merger between ma-wife na
mpango wa kando to help save
time and money.
13. ati gava ifungue Mr.Broke ju
bei
yaMr.Price haies mek..
14. wenye hunionea huruma sasa
waanze kunionea Runda, Lavi,
Kile,
15. Jogoo ya Kanu to be replaced
by kuku ya kenchic
16. Ministry of Health i
introduce SOMETIMES koz si madame wote
hu afford ALWAYS.
17. 3 meals a day abolished we
have one balanced meal each
part
eaten alone: breakfast rice, lunch
beans, dinner cabbage..

LEGALISE PROSTITUITION

Its just a matter of time before prostituition becomes legal in Nairobi.It is not because we are becoming immoral but it because we are becoming  more tolerant.
Former Nairobi major Mr.Majiwa ordered a research and it was found out that their are over 40,000 sexual encounters that take place within the CBD in a night.Their was talk  that Majiwa was about to legalise commercial sex but due to political pressure he just became a typical politician.Nairobi county is about to discuss a bill which intends to remove commercial sex workers from the CBD and at the same time Korogocho representative is intending to table a bill which will legalise prostituition
SO,WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES OF PROSTITUITION?
1.Saving marriages
It is said that a man has two feelings,hungry and horny;If you do not see him with a 'hard on' give him a sandwhich.Prostituition is not all about sex,sometimes men just go to prostitutes to talk about their problems or when they are angry and want to cool down instead of beating up their wives.A prostitute is someone who does not judge you.Sometimes its about sex which is better than molesting ones daughter or househelp.Am talking about safe prostituition.
2.Ensures Everyone has Sex
Their are some people because of their physical appearance they can not easily get sexual partners.So does that mean that they should never have sex?
3.Source of Employment
Every part of Nairobi has commercial sex works.If I was to estimate I think their are over 20,000 prostitutes in Nairobi alone.Who wants to employee an illeterate person?Who wants to employee a class one  dropout?Who wants to employ someone who can only speak a single language?Who wants to employee who is 'thick' in the head?Prostituition does.
4.Its technical legal
What profession is a campus diva?What do you call any girl who has more than one boyfriend who provides for her?Who is a 'mpango wa Kando'?What do you call someone who dates sugar daddies or sugar mummies?Commercial sex work just takes different forms.
5.Backbone of many business
Just imagine how many lodgings depend on this or how many bars survive because of this.Another angle is the taxi drivers,lodging attendants,waiters etc that survive on this.
6.Taxes
Commercial sex workers charge  between Ksh200 and Ksh3000 its about time that the government tap on that.
7.Its none of Our business
How many people have HIV/AIDS and STIs and have never been with a commercial sex worker?How many 'normal' people have had over 100sexual partners?As an adult you have a right to have sex with whoever you want to and for whatever reason.
psss;not edited yet

CAMPUS DIVAS:INTELLIGENT FOOLS

Defination:Campus diva is just a nice way of saying a prostitute.
The other NTV featured a story where a first year engineering student at the university of Nairobi confessed to being a 'campus diva'!Well the girl's apartment is actually better than most of our homes and it was paid for by someone's husband/father and its not hers.
The campus divas relationship with their grandfather of a boyfriends is simple.They give the men sex and in return they get money.This is not so bad,their is just their wives,children,HIV/AIDS and other STIs to worry about.
Why would a learned girl do ?Three reasons;peer pressure,poverty and lifestyle.
This not done by all our girls and also some boys go for sugar mummies which is quite ironic because their is nothing sweet about it.Mayb our campus boys just have to stick with high school girls.