1. Anybody found drinking guiness, kingfisher, cellar cask, and any other drink whose bottle is tinted will have his or her drink impounded. People should drink bluemoon, chang'aa, countryman and kibao etc to avoid chances of terrorism.
2. Ladies found preferring tall, DARK, and handsome men will be impounded forthwith. To curb terrorism, ladies must prefer tall, BROWN and handsome men. Under this directive therefore, the government through the ministry of internal security will offer free bleaches to men who are potential suspects. Such dark men must be hiding explosives under their skin.
3. Anybody found in possession of a black and white tv set with coloured screens will have their tvs impounded.
4. Anybody found with sun glasses will have them impounded. What explosives are you hiding in your eyes??
5. Any kenyan who has dark hair must visit the nearest police station and surrender that hair to avoid being impounded. Kenyans must be blonde to curb terrorism.
6. Darkness has been banned. It is a criminal offence to tell someone goodnight at night. If you wish to tell someone goodnight say it during a clear day when the sun is up to reduce chances of terrorism.
7. Switching off the lights in your house will be taken as a terrorist activity. Leave the lights on to reduce cases of terrorism. #stay clear, avoid dark things, be an anti terrorist!
8. In addition to that,if you have a darkside, black eye or if you find yourself in a dark corner then you are a suspect!
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